Saturday, November 17, 2018

My mum taught me to never be afraid to be on your own

glass of wine in hand

music blaring

on her own

The best company

don’t sit around

grab life by the reins

it’s a kitchen disco!

put on some music

and dance

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Found on Reddit #5

4 months ago
I am very concerned by the rise of Jordan Peterson and his brand of toxic masculinity.

70 points·4 months ago·edited 4 months ago
I'm a little concerned, but he's more of a cult leader than a historian. built on shamelessly cherry picked or fabricated "facts", that have been cobbled together for no reason other than to prop up his belief that male supremacy is "natural".

So, you can't argue against him with a study any more than you can use a study to disprove the existence of God to a devout believer. When a person has become accustomed to simply giving in to their innate cognitive biases to support their deeply felt emotional "truths", no amount of data will dissuade them.

The reason he is so popular is that his wacky new religion is telling young men what many of them so desperately want to believe that they too will ignore any amount of evidence that undermines his arguments in favour of female submission to male supremacy.

We can only push back against that kind of shit by showing decisively that equality is better than an imbalance of power, that genuine meritocracy is better than preferential treatment for some on the basis of their genitals, that men are happiest and their marriages last longest when they meaningfully contribute to parenting and household responsibilities, rather than trying to offload all of that on some poor unlucky woman who will eventually come to resent them.

Basically, we just keep on setting a good example and setting clear boundaries and eventually they'll come around, because they will have to.

Fact is, we (straight women) don't actually need men economically at all any more, so they will never be able to realize Peterson's vision of "enforced monogamy" or the "redistribution" of our vaginas, even if they desperately wanted to. If the option is to draw the short straw and end up with a fucking maniac like Minnassian or Rodger, or just, like not do that, and instead live alone in a sweet, tidy house you paid for by yourself, where nobody treats you like their cook, whore or maid, who is ever going to choose that first option? Nobody, that's who.

As the incels are beginning to learn.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Found on Reddit #4

549 points·3 months ago
I worked for a few years at a children's museum. There was this single dad with three daughters, who was cute but way too old for me, especially at the time, when I was 19 and he was about 35. I also got a weird vibe from him, but he was always very sweet, if a little uncomfortable. His daughters were adorable. The following events happened over probably a 6-month-period.

One day, some guest approaches me and asks me if I've seen this "missed connections" on Craigslist about the museum. It. Was. About. Me. The guy was writing about things we had talked about, and was saying how good we would be together, etc. Thinking back, I honestly think that she must have been friends with the guy???? Because it was too weird that she approached me out of all the other workers, then ASKED ME what I thought about the guy who wrote the ad?????????

Later, he found me on Facebook and tried to add me. I didn't add him, and the next time he was in the museum, he followed me room to room and just glared at me from afar, not talking to me. Super uncomfortable. I thought it would be easier just to add him, so I did. Then he starts commenting really weird cringey sexual stuff on my photos, like a gif of Pikachu biting his lip, or just "FAPFAPFAPFAPFAP" so I decide enough is enough and deleted him.

THEN he tries to win me back or something??? He brings a wrapped canvas to the museum and gives it to MY BOSS saying it "would be too weird to just give it to her..." and my boss calls me down later and makes me open it in front of everyone (it was a very fun workplace and we loved to rip on each other) and it was a painting of one of my photos from Facebook! I was so mortified. I put it away, but one of my coworkers (and also my best friend) replaced the clock in the breakroom with my portrait, because she is a dick lol.

While it was funny, I also asked my boss to kinda watch out for him, so from then on I didn't see him anymore, and I blocked him on Facebook. So I think I'm safe!

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Found on Reddit #3

Alright. I got this one. So this happened when I was 19-20. I went to go backpack across Europe for 3 weeks and to visit my girlfriend who was doing a study a broad program for our school.

So im really excited I hadn't seen my girlfriend for months. I am staying at her flat for a couple of days to see her and to plan my trip. About 2 days in her roommates were just being straight up cunts. I mean they were just insulting me putting me down. I would say somthing back and they would run off to my girlfriend and cry. My girlfrined would get upset and all i want to do is spend time with her. I mean im in freaking Italy i dont want to fight. I would go to the roommates and apologize and then apologize to my girlfriend for causing an issue and that i didnt mean to.

We planned a trip to go into France and visit Paris. I had intended to pop the question there but her roommates decided that they wanted to go and she invited them. I tried to change her mind but then we would argue and i didnt want to deal with it.

I then would get yelled at for the smallest things from her. I would just take it i woudnt argue I wouldn't raise my voice i just let her get her frustration out.

Needless to say. I did not ask her to marry me in Paris. The train is delayed and she is freaking out about missing her class and i told her. Its ok. There is nothing you can do. The train broke down. Things happen. Just explain to the teacher what happened im sure they will understand. Well that caused her to be very upset at me. Her roommates then told her the exact same thing and she agreed with them. She wouldn't talk to me the rest of the train ride. Im irritated but i say nothing.

That night there was some kind of party for someone who is going somewhere else to finish off the semester. So we are all getting ready to go and her roommate right in front of my girlfriend just full on ripes into me about somthing. I had not said anything to her she just started mouthing off. So i looked at the roommate and said "look ive done nothing to you the entire time i have been here why are you being such a massive cunt?" Her roommate ran off to her room crying. My girlfriend starts yelling at me as we are walking down the stairs of the complex. She is still yelling at me while we are standing waiting for the bus. She is still yelling at me while we are on the bus.

I snapped

I stood up and laid into her all of my frustration i had from the week i spent there i just unleashed on her all at once. On a crowded bus i was in her face yelling at her at the top of my lungs and ended it right there got off the bus and went to a bar and started drinking and spent the rest of my time having a blast. Never saw her again. I wish i could take that week back and spend it doing somthing else but i didnt let it ruin the rest of my trip.

The rest of that trip though was a fucking blast. I mean i went to parts of Germany, Piza, Venice, Rome. I met awesome people just staying in hostles. I hooked up with one girl in Rome. I masterbated in the Vatican (because why the fuck not). I also was an art major so just seeing all this art and culture and history was fucking amazing. To this day the most amazing thing i have seen was the Trevi Fountain. When i was at the colosseum it began to hail for about 10min. Then it stopped and started to lightly rain and the clouds opened up and a rainbow came down and landed in the center of the colosseum (I swear this happened. When i tell people they never believe me. I get how unbelievable it is but it is true. Also there was no pot of gold. I checked)

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Found on Reddit #2

Gender GUID: BF16A62A-D479-413F-A71D-5FBE3114A9158 points·1 year ago

I'm not 100% certain but I think that the term "toxic masculinity" originally came from MRAs or proto-MRAs within the feminist movement before they were forced out by others (I hope it is obvious that I don't mean all others) who were more dedicated to the narrative than they were to progress.

In its original usage, the term was much more productive. It was about the role that men find themselves pressured into by society and how that can be harmful to themselves and those around them.

This is absolutely a thing that needs to be discussed.

Examples of toxic masculinity would be:

Repressing emotions (when doing so is not productive)

Refusing to ask for help or admit weakness.

(Excessive) sexual aggression.

Being ashamed of doing traditionally feminine work or enjoying traditionally feminine things.

Inability to share emotional intimacy or physical affection with other men.

The need to assert your position within the male hierarchy and force others to participate in that hierarchy.

The important thing to note is that these are comments about society, not about men. The issue is that society pushes men into this role. Men hide emotion because they are punished for showing emotion. Yes, individual men need to work to overcome this pathological stoicism but the bigger problem is that those men who show emotion will still be punished for it.

Unfortunately its current usage does not recognise this. It is mostly used as a "get out of caring about men's issues free" card. All men's issues are declared the result of toxic masculinity so you can claim to be working on men's issues just by complaining about toxic masculinity.

Of course, the way it usually goes when making these complaints is only to talk about the internalised side of toxic masculinity. It is declared that men simply need to let go of these harmful ideas of what it means to be a man, as though it is only men's stubbornness that perpetuates the problem. There is certainly no discussion of the part women play in maintaining these norms.

Egalitarian, Former Feminist4 points·1 year ago

There is certainly no discussion of the part women play in maintaining these norms.

That's what bothers me. Part of the regressive mainstream ideology that pervades our culture today is a reliance on traditional ideas about women and their roles.

In reality, I have experienced very little gender policing from other men. The vast majority I have experienced has been in regards to women's expectations of me and, more generally, men. Of course, there is no mainstream discussion of that behavior as toxic femininity.

Monday, October 22, 2018

Found on Reddit #1

We met on OkCupid and after like 2 weeks decided to go meet. We both weren't into coffee so we decided to eat a dinner together. At his place. We agreed to meet at the mall to buy groceries. He couldn't decide even one thing, but when I would take a certain brand he would mention how his grandmother would take some other. At the end I made him to pick at least one thing - appetizer (thinking of soup or something), so he picked blueberries. I payed. We came to his apartment, he couldn't cook which I didn't mind, but he didn't even feel like helping. While I was making the sauce he mentioned things like that I am not intelligent enough (because I suck at math and wasn't interested in it when he was reading his math book to me for 5 - 10 minutes), that it annoys him me not being interested in video games, he blushed when I joked and said word "pussy" and also got frustrated when he read Jesenin to me and I wasn't that interested. Then we finally sat and ate. He commented how his mother does it better. But he also ate pretty much everything. Then all of the sudden he stood up and said "now we should kiss and cuddle". Of course not. I offered to wash the dishes. He didn't even help. I felt sorry for him the entire time, that's why I just didn't leave.